Bummer

(FOR WOMEN ONLY, WHO WILL UNDERSTAND MY DISMAY) I am beginning to get discouraged when I walk into my closet. Nothing fits! The chemo therapy has caused me to retain fluid and my ankles and abdomen are swollen. I've gained 10 lbs!

The Samson Effect

Jim has an interesting cause-and-effect theory. He says my improvements began about the same time that my hair started growing back, hence the analogy to Samson in the Bible. You may recall that when Delilah cut off Samson's hair, he lost his superhuman strength, but when it grew back so did his strength. Jim wants me to grow my hair all the way down to my butt. Here's a picture of my new fuzzy head alongside my wonderful sister Julie.

Happy Doctor, Happy Patient

If my doctor could, he would have jumped up and down with the news he was about to give me this morning. His treatment plan for me was working! There was a period of time the end of February and the first part of March that my husband, Jim, and my doctor didn't think that I would survive.

But now my recent MRI shows that the swelling in my brain is down by 90%, my spinal fluid showed that my white blood count, my protein level, and the activity of the Epstein Barr Virus in my spinal cord have decreased. The lesions have decreased by 25%, are paper thin and not likely to be active. However, I still have a large lesion on the top of my brain that controls memory, so my short term memory will be the last thing to recover.

Rip Van Winkle

Two weeks ago I woke up from a long slumber, or at least it felt that way. I felt like Rip Van Winkle where time had passed during his sleep and he woke to a bewildering passage of events. My brain began recording events again and I could retrieve them with some reliability. I guess that's what memory is.

I don't want to equate my metamorphosis with the resurrection of Jesus, but it's at least symbolic that my recent memories resumed around Easter Sunday.

Miss Congeniality

There was a two month period beginning in mid January where I was just totally oblivious to what was going on around me. I was hospitalized all but 15 days, from January 12 to April 14 . I was worried that during that time I had been unkind or hard to get along with. I am happy to report that my family, who had stayed with me during that time, and the nurses that were caring for me, described me as happy, content and kind. My memory was incomplete though and I told stories of where I had lived (but I hadn't lived there) and I described our kids as small children, when in fact they are grown with children of their own.

By mid-March though there was a noticeable improvement in my balance, strength, and coordination. Jim was very encouraged.

We're hospitalized now for round #7 of my chemotherapy. I will probably have a total of 10 cycles.

Thank you

We're home again, this time for about five days before I have to go in for another round of chemo. This experience is getting less and less fun, but I've learned that doctors and nurses need to be thanked, and often. Try it.

My sister Julie is visiting and taking her turn helping me and Jim. My siblings and parents are flying in from all over the country to help us. Blessed be the ties that bind.